Breakups are hurtful almost every time, so it gets weird when the one who hurt you now wants to be your friend once again, only this time without the intimacy, sex, and of course drama. When your ex girlfriend wants to be friends with you, you should analyze the situation and think of what you yourself want. It may be weird, I agree, and probably not the best idea.
But at the same time it may be a great opportunity to enjoy each other’s company and friendship at a very different level.
Think about it, do you want to turn your back on someone who knows so much about you? Someone who understands you on a level many others don’t?
Someone you have always been free to talk to about the many aspects of your life? Well, in my opinion, being platonic friends with your ex can be a very good thing. This is especially so if the break up was amicable and you still feel you like being around each other though you have both completely gotten over the relationship.
For such a friendship to work out, there are some steps you have to follow. These are:
Accept the breakup
If becoming friends is part of your scheme for how to get your girlfriend back, then please drop that idea. For it to work, both of you should accept that you are now just friends, nothing more. If you want her back, then apply different techniques.
If one of you still has hopes of turning the friendship into the lost relationship, there is a high probability of the friendship dying a very quick, very painful death leaving both of you with so much resentment towards each other.
Having your ex girlfriend as one of your friends can be a good thing. However, it can also spell disaster. Consider this, how will you feel when you see your ex flirting with other people?
How will you feel if your buddies start hitting on her? And will it be awkward for you to attempt dating and seeing other people when in the company of your friend who also happens to be your ex? If you think the new relationship will be weird or awkward, simply say no and go your separate ways.
Once you have both agreed to become platonic friends, then you should make your intentions clear to each other and maybe even to family, friends, and others close to both of you to avoid confusion. Your love may have been unconditional when you were dating, but for the friendship to work you should impose some conditions.
Read previous post where I discussed about some tips to deal with broken heart after being dumped.
Do not under any circumstances agree to discuss your current lovers. You are neither her hairdresser nor her mum. Make it clear that you are no longer available romantically to her and it will always be like that.
Consult Your Current
If you are not interested in getting back with your ex and you already have someone else in your life, discuss the possibility of becoming your ex’s friend with your current lover. Approach your current girlfriend and tell her your ex girlfriend wants to be friends with you and explain to her what that will involve.
If she is against it, then you have to decide which of the two to remain with, your ex as a friend or your current girlfriend. Do not do anything behind your current girl’s back unless you want to start dealing with two exes instead of one.